Critique of Focus On The Family

"Turning our arse towards hos"

A reissue from the now defunct www.drjamesdobsonsucks.com

The Focus on the Family broadcasts of June 8th and 9th of 2006 entitled "Navigating Today's Youth Culture" showed a staggering return to form in the FoF lying department. And the old trout himself wasn't even present. Yes, amazingly Doctor James Dobson can bend truth AT A DISTANCE.

The two programs were really about three separate topics, but as I will point out later, the goons at FoF tried their darndest to conflate them.

Why?

Because as Odd Todd would say, "They are a bunch of scum liars."

The first issue up for a lambasting was myspace.com

Distorting Truth one issue at a time.

After their usual prurient "today's broadcast may not be suitable for younger listeners" nonsense, Doctor Bill Maier briefly touched on what the program was to be about - a terrible affliction sweeping America's youth called "The Choking Game" and myspace.com . He also introduced the studio guests, Bob Waliszewski of "Plugged In" magazine, Pastor Tim Wilson and his wife Carol "who is an elementary school teacher and also a volleyball coach" along "award winning author of over 50 books", Melody Carlson.

So as they say in The Sound Of Music, "let's start at the very beginning".

Why are these broadcasts not suitable for younger listeners? The folks at FoF are so holier-than-thou, so freaking pious that they NEVER SAY ANYTHING THAT MIGHT REMOTELY AFFECT A "YOUNGER LISTENER". And by the way, when did you last see kid scarred by an adjective? I've seen kids not being spared the rod - they had scars.

Why are all authors described as "award winning"? What awards? Something I've heard of? I'm thinking the use of the epithet "award winning" and "bestselling" is like Dr D James Kennedy listing all his degrees at the end of his comedy hour, to boost someone's shaky intellectual position. Ooooh I am an "award winning" author, my opinion trumps yours. Well, sorry honey, it just don't.

And then it was on to trashing myspace.com

So Doctor Maier lobs Mr. Waliszewski an easy question "So what is myspace.com?" And he says.......

"It is the good and the bad and the ugly, it's not, unlike the choking game, which is absolutely horrendous, in all cases, er, myspace has its good moments. So our discussion about myspace has to have all these different components"

Do you hear the subtle linkage? If you don't hear that second comma, you hear both things are the same and you don't even notice the latter part of the sentence when he's backtracking. Subtle distortion is still distortion.

"It is the good and the bad and the ugly, it's not unlike the choking game, which is absolutely horrendous...."

I had to listen to the damn CD ( $9.00 from FoF ) multiple times to hear these things are not the same.

Distortion # 2

Later Mr. Waliszewski goes on to discuss myspace profiles and he says "It ( myspace ) can be very pornographic. The pictures, that are not meant to be pornographic, but they often are"

Well, I have a myspace profile and my friends are Jenna Jameson, Stormy Daniels, Devon and Janine and I have seen no evidence of pornography from these ladies - who you would think would know a thing or to about that subject.

So again, do you see the subtle distortion? Things are not porn, but they are. They are because Mr. Waliszewski tells us they are?

And of course, he won't tell us what this "pornography" is. He's a "yoof" expert so we roll over for HIS opinion?

I really don't think so.

Of course, he would consider the following to be pornographic.



Which of course it so clearly is not.

Distortion # 3

Later still lying like the weasel he is, Mr. Waliszewski ( or perhaps Dr Maier ) said he was able with just three mouse clicks to "discover some of the most pornographic discussions that I cannot go into on this particular program. But suffice it to say, and you know what I am talking about, it was absolutely horrendous."

Guess what? I don't know what you are talking about. Sufficing ain't cutting it today.

Notice the subtle use of language again? He ( as expert ) opines without ANY examples and we are all supposed to nod sagely and say "Yep, you're sooooo right, it's all over myspace - porn and disgusting STUFF". Stuff of course, we have never seen nor evaluated.

He then legitimately talked about the dangers of online predators. That is always a valid point to bring up. But he then made the statement "myspace is a favorite site of predators". With of course, no statistics, evidence or even anecdotal evidence to back THAT up beyond one case where the crime was still in the "alleged" phase. But "a favorite site of predators"? That might be true. I don't know. But when Mr. Waliszewski says something is true, I immediately doubt its veracity.

Distortion # 4

And then maybe his most egregious distortion was when he tried to link pornography to online predators because some idiot whom he described as someone who "writes a professional digest for the porn industry" had written "one of the first things I did was create a myspace profile and started talking to 'the kids' - just to open up that channel". And that "he began flirting with a girl". Ooooooh.

The unheard link there is between "kids" and "children". And so, if it is "children", it is online predation.

Clearly the guy whom he quoted should not have said "kids". All that does is provide ammunition for people like FoF. But equally clearly he was talking about COLLEGE KIDS. After all, wasn't it at Harvard not that long ago that they showed Digital Playground's new movie "Pirates" on like, the dorm cable system?

"Kids" in college watch pornography. Sorry to burst your 1950's bubble Mr. Waliszewski. And tattoos and piercings have been "in" for at least 10 years. So there is no hidden agenda, no secret corruption of youth. no armies of pornographers on myspace recruiting lil chilluns.

THAT is all in Mr. Waliszewski's mind and I suspect, The Old Trout's.



And now finally, Day # 2 !!

Actually, there isn't much to tell. But let's talk about the 800 lb gorilla in the room that was never alluded to.

The 800 lb Gorilla

In the discussion of the "Choking Game", no one mentioned, hinted at or said the words AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION.

Well, shave my head and call me normal, BUT it seems to me that what they were yakking about probably has something to do with AA. You know why they never said the words? Because then they would have to acknowledge that their fetishistic vision of young people as unblemished virgins is wrong. Oh heck, this activity is SEXUAL? No. That can't be, because our daughter/son doesn't do that! Well guess what? If the "Choking Game" is as big a problem as FoF say it is ( and I wonder about that ), then to say that AA is not involved is being disingenuous at the very least. And for an organization dedicated to providing "information" ( and I use that term loosely ) to America's families, they are singularly falling down at their self imposed job.
Of course, they weren't being disingenuous. They said what they said because ( repeat after me now )....

"They are all a bunch of scum liars."

And then there was Melody Carlson.

Almost the half of day 2 of this FoF special was devoted to trashing so called "Chick Lit" - after we had wallowed in the very tragic death of Pastor Wilson's' daughter to the "Choking Game". Dr Maier's insightful contribution to the debate?

Yup and I kid not, "Satan is after our children"

I just want to make four brief points about the whole Chick Lit discussion.

a) Dr Maier was again able to tell us the material being discussed was pornographic, but again without giving us any examples.

b) Ms Carlson was SHOCKED that in a capitalist society books are marketed at young girls! Ooooh they are "targeting our daughters". Notice that the language subtly conflates a legitimate activity to sexual predation? The books like "The Gossip Girls" glorify a lifestyle akin to Paris Hilton's and Nichole Ritchie's? Then may I suggest the "South Park" episode about Ms Hilton as the fastest way to debunk the non-argument that Ms Hilton is any kind of role model?

c) The books they talked about apparently glorify sex, drug abuse and other ( to FoF ) bad stuff. We got no examples. No passages from any book was read so we could make up our own minds. Guess what? My mind is not made up by listening to idiots like Dr Maier and Ms Carlson. Now I have to check out the "Gossip Girls" and "The A-list" for myself. I think as a grown man, I'll pass on "The Pretty Committee". And speaking of reading, has anyone read a ROMANCE NOVEL recently? Ohmigod. Clearly all that this whole "Chick Lit" phenomenon really is is a primer for romance novels. Get 'em young and keep 'em forever. Just like Budweiser. It's the American way.

d) But the best was when Doctor Maier asked Ms Carlson to recommend books that are suitable for young girls and all she could come up with WAS HER OWN BOOKS. That was freaking priceless. When really pressed she reluctantly had to recommend the works of Robin Jones Gunn - but boy was that an afterthought. Dr Maier had to step in and suggest an alternative. And his suggestion was written by FoF contributor - John Fabry. Talk about nepotism. If you look up these books by Mr. Fabry, you will see they are co-authored with one of the biggest names in "Christian" Fiction i.e. fiction that exploits Christ for a buck, Jerry "Left Behind" Jenkins. So you know they are going to be a huge steaming pile of doo.

You know what? We need some Jesse to cheer us up after trawling through the slime of FoF half truths.

Focus On The Family pixellates out these pentagrams on Jesse Jane's bikini, so I feel sort of obliged to show them too you in all their strained glory.

Radio Infomercials I hate

The so called "Hart to Heart Nutrition Hour" hawks Mother Nature's Miracle - with host, Melinda Hart.

Has it gone off the air? Read on, because if it has, you will see, it doesn't matter.

Michael Brookes is Melinda's "expert" and he is perhaps the worst guy on the radio for using misleading statements about his so called "mineral formula".

My favorite is his citing Doctor Linus Pauling about taking vitamin C and then later talking about ALL diseases being a result of a a mineral or vitamin deficiency and citing someone called Doctor Paul Linus. Well who the **** is he?

My second favorite is when he says, "drop a penny in a glass of water and the next morning it's still there!" Like a pill in your stomach? Right?

Heck no. Drop a penny in dilute hydrochloric acid and look how shiney it is in the morning.That would be BECAUSE THE ACID IS DISSOLVING IT you idiot.

But wait now we have a new infomercial....or do we?

"The Life Long Wells Nutrition Hour" with host Sheryl Wells is hawking Bio-Vaccine. Her expert is Mr Ted Lemus.

At many points, this is almost WORD FOR WORD the same infomercial, up to and including an additional ad within the infomercial itself for a "bone supplement" containing MSM, glucosamine and condroitin and guess what? You can take this with their main miracle product with no interaction. Imagine that! Wow! And they also repeat the lines like "if you take X, you have to take Y for Z and then you must take P for Q and don't forget R for your S, otherwise all your are taking is useless" rant. So you have to take their formula which is "balanced".

What a bunch of freaking charalatans. What's happened? Has the FDA closed down Melinda's "show" and it's all now morphed into these monsters?

The big question we have to ask is.......

Are Melinda [Hart] and Sheryl [Wells] THE SAME PERSON? They certainly have the same irritating habit of mindlessly interjecting stuff like "I see" and "amazing" and "[he] is a highly intelligent man", but they also pitch the same softball questions to their respective "expert" who sadly, though he could not save his loved ones when he was younger, he hopes his total absence of medical qualifications will allow him to "help other people" because he has "read over 700 books" and has done a lot of private "research"..

Mr Lemus also has a great story about giving Bio-Vaccine to a man called Harry who THE VERY NEXT DAY after miraculous results said "this must be a placebo". Why would he say that ? Why would he think that something that does nothing ( which is what a placebo is ) had somehow "cured his symptoms"?

Oh. Right. Mr Lemus ( "a highly intelligent man" ) doesn't know what a placebo is.

God save us from these bastards.

Some things are just not right

Just saw the lovely Anne Hathaway in "Becoming Jane". Not a bad flick, but the husband and wife next to me were yakking all the time. ALL the time.

The classic was when LeFoy hands Jane the novel that will "open her eyes to the world" and the idiot husband next to me leaned over and said conspiratorially to his equally fatuous wife, "Lady Chatterley's Lover".

Rare to see that level of ignorance so proudly trumpeted in public.

Must Do More For 2007

So 2007 is off to a whimpering start, with the Damoclesian Sword of Potential Layoffs still hanging over my future. By the end of February I may know more.

So far my resolutions are holding up pretty well, no fast food, no chocolate, no Diet Pepsi, no unnecessary DVD or book purchases, no HUGE bacon and sausage-filled breakfasts.....

If only I didn't have this "Plantar Fasciitis" thing going on, I could get in a few games of tennis. I reckon I'm looking at the very least, six months before I can even think about a game. Of course, as weight is also a factor in this thing, I now have some incentive to come down from 240+ to something "more reasonable". I am not going to define that here because if I do, I'll be disappointed when I fail to achieve it.

So right now, my target for my birthday in August is.........a secret.

I've already seen a few movies, Pan's Labyrinth, Children Of Men, Little Children, The Curse Of The Golden Flower...
Nothing stood out except the shear ineptness of "Little Children". All it had going for it was Kate Winslet, but even her obvious draw was lessened by the stupid script and mindless narration. Jings and it got some Golden Globe nominations too! Hopefully the Oscars won't be so stupid and do the same.

What else? More resolutions I guess. I have to read some of the many mnay books purchased in 2006. I have started on the first Mary Russell and Sherlock Holmes novel by Laurie King, "The Beekeeper's Apprentice". It's not bad, I am a big fan of Holmes stories written by other authors. I do have one quibble though. Would a 15-year old girl ( albeit with an American upbringing ) say in 1915, "I am a feminist"?

I venture to say "no". Wow! That's really what I call "venturing".

To date, that has been the one jarring idiom that crashed against my ear and made me go "Oh no, I don't think so".

I'm still playing my PSP, still never getting remotely near the scores posted by little kids on websites - 900,000+ playing "Luminies" - sorry Timmy, I ain't buying that one today.

Definition Of Pretentious

I swear today I read a review of the movie "Little Children" that began with this sentence of TOWERING insight.....

[The movie Little] Children, above all things, explores the psychosis of the adult mind either when it finds itself in the grips of a socio-economic inequity or under the terrible flaggelations of emotional apathy.

What does that mean? Apart from the obvious, "I am a pretentious git".

Sweet Jeezus what an end to the year 2006

Where the heck to begin? I suppose with work and the swirling corruption scandal that threatens to engulf the company I work for. What will happen in 2007? Who can say? Layoffs are coming to some divisions for damn sure. Have you noticed it is always those people with VERY secure jobs who tell the rest of us that job security is a thing of the past? They have very secure jobs and mortgages that are paid off. The middle class paradigm of employment is totally incompatible with mortgages and having to change your job seven or nine times in your career.

BECAUSE THOSE NEW JOBS WILL INEVITABLY BE FOR LESS MONEY.

What else? Well the Dolphins sucked even if they did hold on to the unbeaten record and they did shit out the Patriots. I went to two games against the Jaguars and the Vikings - at least the tailgating didn't let me down. Look at the picture above for goodness sake! That's a man enjoying cake dammit!

What else? No major hurricanes. That was good after taking a glancing hit from the young Katrina un 2005 and a direct one from Hurricane Wilma. There was another 2006 expense - $4000 for shutters on five windows in my house.

Movies also sucked pretty bad with only a few good offerings like "The World's Fastest Indian" and "The Illusionist". In 2007 I'm really hoping "300" will be a stand out. Other movies I liked were "Superman Returns", "Water", "Thank You For Smoking", "Who Killed The Electric Car", "Deja Vu", "The Lost City" and "The Queen".

MI-3 ? MI still awake? ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz

Right now I'm in a financial hole of my own making. Maybe I'll be 50% out of it after April 15th.

Today December 28th 2006, I am trying to get my web sites in order.

Here's a hint: Don't have them registered and hosted by different companies.

And oh yes indeed, MS FrontPage is terrible - it has forgotten all my login IDs and of course after changing my email provider, I have that information not all too.

Today I have gone 15 rounds with verio.com and shieldhost.com. I am bloodied, no doubt about that, but I am still unbowed.

Hopefully I have the ability to publish DrJamesDobsonSucks.com in a few days. I have to post a comment about something Michael Medved said on Doctor James Dobson's hate filled show a few weeks back.

Oh and yes, my new favorite target of religious intolerance? "Life Matters" on my local radio station "Radio Peace" aka "Radio Piece of Cr*p". The sanctimonious ramblings about teenage sexuality from Ms Barbara Graber and Mr Jim Morris are possibly the worst radio EVER - every Tuesday morning at 7:30 AM. I've yet to hear them address who is responsible for Spontaneous Abortion. By my calculation that probably resulted in more than 120 million lost fertilized eggs since Roe vs Wade.

What do Babs and Jim have to say about THAT? Why nothing of course. Once again proving they are only interested in the stuff IN a woman's body, not what comes out of it - egg or baby.

So as you can see, 2006 has made me an ANGRY MAN.

House Of Wax

I saw the movie "House Of Wax" last night - that is I did, and so did the other two people in the theater. The movie stumbles badly as the director breaks perhaps THE cardinal rule of the "cute-girls-in-danger-from-deranged-redneck-killers" movie genre.

At first it looks like he knows what he is doing, the principle female lead character dons a man's white singlet early on in the flick.....

BUT THEN.....BUT THEN.....

He drops the ball on the golden rule, the very reason these movies exist.....

HE FORGETS TO GET IT TRANSPARENTLY WET. Dirty? Yes. Wet? Not really.

That was why the last remake of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" was so successful. Amid all the carnage you knew that water was going to make everything good at some point. And it did.

This is the same reason why ( looking at the trailer ), the upcoming Ring ripoff, "Dark Water" might just be worth a peek.

But overall my impression of "House Of Wax"? A miss. A most definite miss.

Web site generation continues apace dear reader. Not sure how long this site will be up. I'm seeking legal clarification to see if I am violating the copyright of a so called "ministry". Getting sued I might wear as a badge of honor.  

Oh my. Dyed my hair.....for a dare. And yes other important stuff to take to heart. (a) Anais Alexander is gorgeous. (b) The new Devon DVD is piss poor. Plus as it is recorded in HD-DVD, it won't play in a regular player. (c) The new CD by the Prog Supergroup called "Kino" is well worth checking out.

Al Pacino's Merchant Of Venice....

Nothing undervalu'd to Cato's daughter, Brutus' Portia.

I finally got to see the new "Merchant Of Venice" movie and from the opening editing of Antonio's "In sooth" speech I was concerned. And as the movie progressed my concerns were amply justified. There is just too much monkeying about with the text. Shoot where is "How sweet the moonlight sits upon this bank?" and all the "on such a night.." stuff? The text was pared down way too much, breaking the poetry very badly. And then inserting modern words just kills the beauty of the language even more. So "Not until it is paid according to the tenure" has to become "Not until it is paid according to the terms". There are many other jarring examples you can pick out for yourself, needlessly changing the lines. I was also disappointed by the playing down of the Lorenzo and Jessica story. If the most important aspect of this work is the humanizing of Shylock with the "hath not a Jew hands?" speech, surely almost equally importantly is the Lorenzo and Jessica story showing that love can overcome prejudice? That being said, Pacino is excellent as is Lynn Collins, primarily because they have less of the "updated dialogue to say. The "quality of mercy" speech is just about the best thing in the picture, delivered flawlessly by Lynn Collins.

The supporting act for Steve Earle.....Allison Moorer

Allison Moorer is a thousand times more beautiful in person. She was the supporting act for Steve Earle at the Carefree Theater in West Palm Beach. Her voice is to die for and she is simply pretty beyond belief - definitely this picture does not really do her justice. She also accompanied Steve on those songs requiring female vocals. The song "Comin' Around" was just perfect. Steve said "When you have a beautiful red haired girl from Kentucky on the stage, you have to use her as much as possible". I'm so glad that he did. Her set was with an acoustic guitar only and at one point she thanked the audience for "listening to my sad songs" and that was the point that I became a fan. She also had Steve Earle come out on the stage to accompany her on the mandolin for her version of "Carrickfergus". That ( being such a classic ) is not an easy song to pull off, but she added some words of her own and carried it off flawlessly. She had an Oscar nomination some years ago for a song in the movie "The Horse Whisperer".

It has been a couple of weeks people

Steve Earle looking happy.

I saw Steve Earle And The Dukes At the Carefree Theater in West Palm Beach. He was his usual curmudgeonly self, cracking jokes and ripping the US political system. He said "Clinton was the only Republican I ever voted for....twice". I think it's good to have an overtly left wing country singer to provide balance to the Toby Keith's of this world. Steve was pretty funny, cracking quite a few jokes. The one about the red haired girls from Alabama and tornadoes was quite well received - perhaps hitting a little close too home as he said, because Florida is in some proximity to Alabama. Check out his latest CD, "The Revolution Starts Now". It is probably the best thing he has done in a while. We all enjoyed a good sing-a-long to the songs on the new CD, including the rocking "F the CC". The crowd booed during the song "Condi Condi" at the one point where the name "Condolezza" is mentioned in full. It was quite a moment. All in all, I would say a good time was had by all and I got to hear two sentences I never felt I would hear in the USA...."I am from Texas. I make pretty good money for a borderline Marxist".

Now THAT was worth the price of the ticket.

Avoid the radio programme "Catholic Answers"

I just heard the apologit Tim Staples on the Radio programme "Catholic Answers Live" say the most outrageous things. He said "there is wisdom in celibacy" because if a priest is married, maybe he can't spend all his time on his flock if he has to go home and sort out his kids. Apparently, he never read Matthew 18:12. What a moron. He also said that "marriage is a supernatural process designed to produce a supernatural result". WTF? The "supernatural result" is apparently, entering heaven. How do single people get in? What about child molesting priests? If you contact "Catholic Answers", Tim will come to your town to push this stupid propaganda in person. Aren't you soooo excited? I can hardly contain my water. 

"Only Time Will Tell"

Today, I heard the most maudlin song EVER written in the history of songwriting. It was a song of monumentally cloying lyrics, I had an unstoppable urge to shower to get the lyrical treacle from my body. I am of course, refering to the song "Only Time Will Tell" by the contemporary Christian "artiste" known as Carolyn Arends. It's a song that supposedly she wrote for friends whose child died soon after birth. It is simply fucking awful. It pushes The South Park Alan Jackson parody "Where Were You When They Built The Ladder To Heaven" into second place in the list of worst songs ever recorded. Here is how it starts :-


They took his picture in his mama’s womb
He really put on a show
Dancing and diving for the ultrasound
Fearfully made, and wonderful
But the doctors said we’re sorry, there’s a problem
We’ll do our best to make him well
But we’re not sure if we can fix him
Only time will tell, only time will tell


And there's a lot more of the same. A lot more. Jesus effing Christ but it's bad. I feel like barfing. It is so heartwarming, so full of its own goodness, it make your throat gag. Have we really gone from Mahler's Kindertoten Lieder to THIS? Of couse, I'm sure Ms Arends sees nothing wrong with this song. When of course, what is wrong with it is simply....everything.

The world is truly.....doomed.

I just saw Benny Hinn on the "Behind The Scenes" TV programme with Jan Crotch. Can there ever have been a bigger charlatan liar in the history of TV evangelism? The man is pure evil personified. He lies with such false sincerity, it make me sick. 

I went to see "House Of Flying Daggers" today. If there is a more emotive actress than Ziyi Zhang in the world today, I don't know who she is. While lacking the sweep of "Hero", this movie still knocks the socks off anything that Hollywood has to offer. Go see it.
 

New Years Day 2005

So, I went to the beach in Delray this morning at 08:00 AM. The wind was fresh off the ocean with a three foot surf throwing hundreds of blue men-o-war up onto the newly sculpted sands. Only a few hardy Canadian souls were there braving the ozone chill. A group of three very well wrapped individuals were asleep at the edge of the dune field, apparently sleeping off last night's pointless festivities. The sun peered palely through some high early morning clouds giving the Atlantic a slate green hue like unwashed emeralds. The spume foamed like the sea's spittle and the waves stood high like defiance. I saw a hawk riding the crests of the wind as he searched the green waters, perhaps mistakening them for the verdant fields of some avian calenture. A small knot or dunlin limped amongst the jellyfish and seaweed in the splashing shoreline, oblivious to its pain and the new year's rampant indifference. After a 40 minute walk at the tide's edge with the gulls and terns hanging like feathery mobiles so close to my head that I could almost reach out to touch them, I walked back along the sidewalk of A1A and took my car home.

So much for my beachgoing for 2005.

And oh yes, better news. I met a dancer in Scores in Fort Lauderdale last Tuesday. Her name was Shannon - she was simply beautiful - something good has come out of Canada to bless us here in the land of hurricanes and hopelessness with her clear and shining eyes.

As I say, luminous 

Oh Audrey

As it says in the movie, "He slept with his hand on her breast". I saw the movie "A Very Long Engagement" this week. Can there be a more luminous actress that the lovely Audrey Tautou? In this humble correspondent's opinion the answer to that question is "No". She has a quality that lights the screen. You cannot not look at her when she is projected there before you. Such lovely eyes, such a poignant mixture of innocence and strength. This is a movie for grownups - visually arresting and with a story that demands your attention. This is right at the end of the year, one of the best movies I have seen in 2004. It sort of renews my faith that there are movies out there for people over the age of 15. Did I say Audrey is gorgeous? I just wanted to make sure I did.

Let's call this "The Spoiled End of Alexander"

Alexander is wounded in India.

"We are going home!" Hurrah! "You look a bit pastey mate!"
In the midst of all those accents on view ( can accents be
on view?? ), I'm sure there must have been some 'Strine there.

"Babylon will cheer you up. What you need is a good Greek
rogering in a warmer climate than this".

The Hindu Kush is no place for the love that dare not speak its
name. It will look its name though. Often. And very longingly.

They return to Babylon - after we see "the biggest mistake he ever made".
Which was apparently a 15 second crossing of a desert as the "quickest way home". No apparent hardship - no scenes with weary soldiers dropping like flies into the sand.

Meanwhile now back home in Babylon......

Hephystion dies - someone says "Typhus water from India" or something.
- I forgot to mention the sound quality is pretty crapola.
Cue tears...now attack Rosario Dawson because "he is the only one
I ever loved"....."No! No! My Alexander, I have having your son..."

Dum dum duuuuuuuurm!

Next scene our 'manly' hero in bed - looking mighty poorly.
"you are strong my king....you must recover....the kingdom...
....rent asunder if you die..the sattrapies will revolt....
....my liege....I have swallowed what some call a 'dictionary'...
and find an inane desire to say 'sattrap" and its plural over and
over and over again.......".

Some people might replace the word 'dictionary' here with a more
"greek-friendly" word here - like thesorearse.

Cue hallucinations from the banner/fan swinging above his bed.
Oooooh - Metaphor. I've heard of that. See the mighty eagle that
has been his guide in life swing out of the banner and swoop towards
him....filling the whole screen as it comes screaming in and takes his
life - a life bereft - now the lovely Hephystion has bitten the pillow
for the last time.

Reach for the eagle....try to grasp...the...meaning...of...this...
....very bad......movie.

Uuuuuuuuuurhhhhhhhh (death rattle) - arm drops to side of bed and
a now useless bauble - the royal ring ( pfnarr, pfnarr ) given
to him by his "best friend" rolls off the outstretched finger on
his outstretched hand on his outflung arm and doink doink doinky
doink! - it falls, in oh so slow motion, onto the cold stone floor.

Yes. He's finally gone to the overacting school in the sky.

Squabble. Squabble. Squabble. Narration: "The kingdom fell apart...
his mother was murdered.....his wife was murdered....his son...was
....murdered".

Cue Hannibal Lecter - "I became Pharoh of Egypt in the part of
the once great Empire I wrested for myself. He was a Great Man,
Magerium...Alexandrium..........Alexander.....The.......Great"

As in "Great, this movie is really, finally.....over"