Revisionism

When I was growing up, everyone knew the story about the rich man and the camel and the eye of a needle.

And we all knew what it meant. It meant rich people don't get into Heaven because Jesus said you had to give away all your shit to follow Him. And that people are greedy and duplicitous bastards who won't do that.

So we all knew that what the story was about was something that was difficult to do. And we all knew that being a true and faithful follower of Christ was going to be very hard for people who care more for their wealth than they do for the fortunes of the poor.

But now, we have a brand new spin on the rich man and the eye of the needle.

IT'S NOT A REAL NEEDLE PEOPLE!

The problem of being richer than Croesus and not getting into Heaven is now officially solved. And it's all thanks to....Geography!

Because now I'm hearing Jesus was actually talking about a rich man entering Jerusalem via the "Needle Gate" which was quite narrow. And this "Eye" of the gate would necessitate any new super-rich Jesus follower simply having to REARRANGE THE BAGGAGE ON HIS CAMEL and then "Bob's your uncle and Charley's your aunt" and into Heaven he can go without worries. All your wealth? Well that's yours to keep Sir. Enjoy your stay, have the veal. And don't forget to tip your waiter.

This is of course utter, utter, utter, revisionist bullshit of the highest order.

And you know why? Because if what Jesus said was as the new lie attests, my Bible would say "It is easier for a camel to go through THE Eye of THE Needle than it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven".

And you know what? It don't say that it my copy. It says "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven".

And anyone perpetuating this new lie can kiss my ass in Hell when we meet.

The Minnesota Loon is cawing again...

And if you say this....

"With his Iran deal, Barack Obama is for the 300 million souls of the United States what Andreas Lubitz was for the 150 souls on the German Wings flight - a deranged pilot flying his entire nation into the rocks. After the fact, among the smoldering remains of American cities, the shocked survivors will ask, why did he do it? "

....people will ask....

"How the Flying Fuck did you ever get elected to Congress, you deranged unhinged woman?"

Inappropriate Signatures in Tech Forums

I've seen inappropriate and unprofessional signatures on emails and tech forums, but can you beat the one below?

"There are four boxes to be used in defense of liberty: 
soap, ballot, jury, and ammo. Please use in that order."
-Ed Howdershelt (Author) 
The NRA is offering FREE Associate memberships to anyone who wants them.
https://www.nrahq.org/nrabonus/accept-membership.asp 
Operator, please trace this call and tell me where I am. 
---||---

Because I don't know about you, but I always want some NRA with my tech help.

It just makes it sound so much more....reliable.

                 Know what I mean?