When I was growing up, everyone knew the story about the rich man and the camel and the eye of a needle.
And we all knew what it meant. It meant rich people don't get into Heaven because Jesus said you had to give away all your shit to follow Him. And that people are greedy and duplicitous bastards who won't do that.
So we all knew that what the story was about was something that was difficult to do. And we all knew that being a true and faithful follower of Christ was going to be very hard for people who care more for their wealth than they do for the fortunes of the poor.
But now, we have a brand new spin on the rich man and the eye of the needle.
IT'S NOT A REAL NEEDLE PEOPLE!
The problem of being richer than Croesus and not getting into Heaven is now officially solved. And it's all thanks to....Geography!
Because now I'm hearing Jesus was actually talking about a rich man entering Jerusalem via the "Needle Gate" which was quite narrow. And this "Eye" of the gate would necessitate any new super-rich Jesus follower simply having to REARRANGE THE BAGGAGE ON HIS CAMEL and then "Bob's your uncle and Charley's your aunt" and into Heaven he can go without worries. All your wealth? Well that's yours to keep Sir. Enjoy your stay, have the veal. And don't forget to tip your waiter.
This is of course utter, utter, utter, revisionist bullshit of the highest order.
And you know why? Because if what Jesus said was as the new lie attests, my Bible would say "It is easier for a camel to go through THE Eye of THE Needle than it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven".
And you know what? It don't say that it my copy. It says "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven".
And anyone perpetuating this new lie can kiss my ass in Hell when we meet.
