My LaPierre Limerick

There once was a man called LaPierre

Who said “I shoot this elephant where”?

Bang! “Here?” Bang! “Here?”

Bang! “Behind this Big Ear?”

And then his wife mutilated its derriere.

A New Scam Email...

Greetings Sir,

I am Hamad Al-Mohannadi Member of the Board in Qatar Petroleum.

I got your contact details from deep internet date mining, after

piritual meditation with my imam and your name was mentioned by him,

as the right person with integrity to transact with. I have 100 Million

USD legal fund of mine in a Bank in Dubai. I will give you the

certificate of deposit and prove of fund when you respond to my email.

I seek for a capable hand to invest this fund in any lucrative

business that has the capability to yield 10% return on investment

yearly, excluding the first year the fund was invested. I am

considering resigning in a months’ time, and I need to secure my

family future as fast as possible.

The brokerage company who were doing bond/stock trading on the said

fund before stock went down all over the world, will transfer all

right to you by my authorization letter. If you assure me that you can

handle the investment fund with my condition of 10% ROI (Return on

Investment) as stated above. My Investment attorney will have to draft

a memorandum of Understanding which we will read agree and sign before

proceeding with this joint venture investment proposal.

I await your swift response

Yours Sincerely

Hamad Al-Mohannadi

Email: hamad.mohannadi@dpsa-za.com

A New Scam. Funny he doesn't know the economic situation in the US.

Hello Dear,

How are you doing and hope all is well with you.

I hope this may not constitute sort of embarrassment to you.

I am Simon Chew, CEO: Hector Trust Finance and Loans, a UK based

company. Can I please kindly share an issue with you in respect of an

investment idea my junior employee brought to my attention that

investing in your Region will yield good profits but I have no idea of

the economic situation in your country and how the sustainable

developments look like.

I am soliciting an investment partnership with you in respect of my

client, an Arabian Oil  Merchant who is ready to invest into viable

projects as recommended by the potential partner. As soon as I confirm

your readiness and willingness to partner with us, I will put in place

solid arrangements for a meeting with my client at a comfortable and

convenient place for both parties.

On this note, I want to seek some advice and ideas related to this

issue regarding investing in your country. I will appreciate it if you

can educate me on this matter. Meanwhile; we would like to invest in

various lucrative categories such as Real Estates/Low cost housing units, 

Hotels / Resorts, Agriculture/Aquaculture, Pharmaceutical

products, Healthcare, Education, Oil & Gas, Waste Management and

Mining.

Kindly let me know if you can assist in good investment ideas in your country.

will be happy if you send me an email in this regard with informative details.

Thanks,

Simon Chew

CEO: Hector Trust Finance & Loans.

Hector Charity (NGO)

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WHAT are "Real Estates"? LMAO.

Limericks are My Life

There once was a lawyer call Dershowitz 
Who people agreed was the worst there is. 
He was a friend of Jeff Epstein's, 
A man who could supply teens 
To the hotel rooms of old men to do what they would with.

---||---

There once was a man called Caviezel,

And people exclaimed "Oh, that weasel!"

When they heard is name trending

With theories suspending

Belief; like Van Gogh's bloody ear on an easel.

Love this Spam Email starts "Hello Dear" from a US bank

From the Desk of Alexander Terry .M

Foreign Remittance Operation

City State Bank (CSB)

701 W Round-bunch Rd Bridge City,Texas 77611

United States of America.

Hello Dear ,

My name is Terry Alexander I got your contact through the country's exchange Online, and then I decided to write to you.I’m interested in investing in any good profit yielding business and I would appreciate any viable ideas you could come up with. I am just soliciting your assistance in the Handling of US$ 37.5M USD. 

{ Thirty-seven million five hundred thousand United States dollars} .

This fund belongs to our Late Costumer Mr. Zhang Zhaoyun from

 China who died without a Will after being infected on the Diamond

 Princess Cruise Ship with his wife and daughter with {Covid-19 } Coronavirus 8 months ago and never came back to the Bank. 

He operates in real estate, construction, and leasing of warehouses. 

The instruments/documents of his Estate are in my Bank's custody including 

the amount of US$ 37.5M USD.{ Thirty-seven million five hundred thousand United States dollars}. I cannot make use of this funds here in United States of America due to reasons that I will explain to you when we speak.

I intend to part 40% of this fund to you while 60% shall be for me. 

I do need to stress that there are no-risk involved in this. It's going to be a Direct transaction.

All I need from you is to stand as the original beneficiary of this fund. If you accept this offer,I will appreciate your timely response,

with Regards, 

Terry Alexander M.