Post Election Haiku

And so it's over.

The Oval Office withers

Melania vents.

Lol. Haven't had one of these for a while.

 

Good day! I would like to alert you about a very dreadful predicament for you. Nonetheless, you can gain from it, if you will act wisely. Have you heard about Pegasus? This is a malware application that installs on machines and mobile devices and allows hackers to observe the activity of gadget operators. It provides access to your webcam, instant messaging apps, electronic mail, phone transcripts, etc. It works well on iOS, Windows, Android. I believe, you by now understood where I'm getting at. It's been a few weeks since I installed it on every your devices because of you were not quite selective about what hyperlinks to press on the internet. During this time, I've discovered about each aspects of your intimate life, however one is of particular significance to me. I've captured innumerable footage of you self-pleasuring to highly questionable porn clips. Given that the "controversial" type is almost always the same, I can infer that you have twisted perversion. I also stored each your important files - records, images, clips, etc. - to a external system. I question you'd want your friends, relatives, and colleagues to be aware about it. However, I can accomplish it in a handful of clicks. All entry in your phone list will abruptly obtain these clips - on WhatsApp, on Telegram, on Skype, on message - everywhere. It is about to be a flood that will sweep away everything in its path, and in the first instance, your past existence. Don't think of yourself as an blameless sufferer. No one knows where your corruption might take in the times to come, so view this a kind of earned consequence to halt you. Better postponed than not at all. I am some kind of Deity who sees everything. Nonetheless, do not freak out. As we know, Deity is merciful and forgiving, and so do I. Nonetheless my compassion is not without cost. Deposit $1300 USD to this digital currency account - BTC:                 Wallet-Name Here Let's acknowledge it, that is a pretty small amount in today's environment. As soon as I get affirmation of the transaction, I will completely remove each clips compromising you, uninstall Pegasus from all of your items, and vanish from your life. You can be certain - my benefit is only cash. If it were any different, I wouldn't be writing to you, however devastate your existence without a word in a moment. I will be alerted when you access my e-mail, and from that moment, you have exactly 12 hours to send the funds. If virtual currencies are an unexplored domain for you, do not worry; it's very simple. Just search "crypto exchange" and then it will be no more difficult than acquiring a couple of trivial stuff on Amazon. I firmly caution you against the subsequent: - Do not answer to this message. I forwarded it from a temp address so I'm invisible. - Don't reach out to the authorities. I have reach to every your equipment, and when I find out you went to the cops, videos will be released. - Don't try to restore or destroy your machinery. As I mentioned above: I am observing every your activity, so you either agree to my conditions or the videos are exposed. In addition, don't forget that digital currencies are discreet, so it is difficult to identify me using the given address. Good luck, my deviant friend. I trust you will take the appropriate decision and this is the last time we hear from each other. And several friendly suggestions: as of now, don't be so negligent about your internet protection.

Haiku

An election looms

Pardons are going to flow.

Bad Things. Lights go out.

Haiku for a Dog Mauling

Big Dog, Small Manhood. 

Enough said on the matter. 

Poo is brown and smells.

Haiku

Now the days count down;

An election is in sight.
Our choices are shit.

Nigel's Limerick

Nigel ate dinner in Belgium

With a woman who is more than his chum.

He’s the MP for Clacton

But he clearly doesn’t give a damn.

And he only thinks of his voters, seldom.

haiku the noo!

So the trial starts

And the hair bobs in the wind 

Control your client!

Habba Limerick

There once was was a lawyer called Habba

Who I am sure would allow her client to grab her

To get more of the limelight

She’s go on Hannity every night

And just jabber and jabber and jabber.